Escapism

Yes, I admit. Facebook and the games that come with are my escape.

I like playing the games. I have a bit of a competitive streak. When I see someone has a higher score than I do, I must pass it.

Sad isn't it?

However, today that is changing. While at the NCHE Convention, I attended a seminar about Social Media - Capturing it for Christ. The general premise was, we need to be on Facebook to attend to what our children are posting and reading. We can also spread the Gospel by using Facebook to reach others for Christ.

But one thing the speakers (Hal & Melanie Young http://www.raisingrealmen.com/) said over and over was "Don't Play The Games". 

Squirm. 

Squirm.

Who me?

Okay God, I get it. I know I use it to escape from the overwhelming inadequacy I feel in being a wife, mom and home school teacher. I know I use it to avoid tackling my house, which just sends me into a tizzy every time I look around, because I can't seem to get a handle on the stuff that people leave lying around.

So, today, I blocked ALL the games. I deleted all the game related apps. 

My feed is strangely quiet. 

And yet, I am relieved. The notices are not there attracting me to play. I will be interested to see what happens now.

So, if I was a game friend on FB, I am sorry. I still love you, but I won't be answering your requests. Everyone else - pray for me!

Unsocialized Homeschoolers

School has begun at our house. Well, sort of.

Katie has finished her 7th grade Switched on Schoolhouse program, and Amanda and I have begun working on some remedial things. Sort of.

I have this philosophical issue with school starting before Labor Day, and the official end of summer. We have done some school work since all the girls' public school friends are back in school, and thus, not around during the day. And the pool doesn't open until 4:00 PM now, so we can't go laze around the water either.

But, we will do a bit of math and language arts with Amanda. I will set up Katie's 8th grade curriculum, but will give her a couple of weeks off. And, we are starting a serious reading program.

What has me boggled is how we got into so many activities! Today Katie starts soccer practice with the local Christian school in the hopes of making their team. If she makes it, she will be at practice Monday, Wednesday & Friday with games on Saturday.

Wednesdays will be particularly challenging, since I have to be a choir practice by 6:00 and Katie's practice lasts until 5:00. I'll have to run her home for a quick shower and then back to church - did I mention practice is actually at the church?

Wednesday night programs at church start back in earnest this week. Amanda loves going to Awanas, so we definitely have a commitment for Wednesday nights.

After Labor Day, and our trip to the beach for a week, we add other activities. Amanda will be going to art class on Mondays, we have a homeschool co-op all day on Fridays, and guitar and drum lessons twice a month. (I still have to figure out how I can get Katie to soccer practice at 3:30 when Amanda's art class doesn't end until 3:30)

All of this got me to pondering how in the world anyone in their right mind could think a homeschooled child is lacking in socialization! My kids are busy, and involved with other homeschooled kids. They attend church with a mix of kids in different schooling options. They play with kids in the neighborhood who go to public or charter schools.

We don't live in a cave. We are not in a commune somewhere or homesteading away from the entire world. Seriously, how do you not have any socialization?

Maybe people mean the kind of socialization that is prevalent in schools today. Class time when they cannot talk. Quiet time at lunch. Recess which involves a planned physical activity which can be counted towards PE time instead of free play and peer interaction.

Or maybe it means exposure to what is deemed appropriate socialization in society today. Dating early, unsupervised afternoons, detached parenting, pressure to achieve and be #1 or not try at all, "family" tv viewing that is anything but family oriented.

Possibly it is the idea that our kids are socialized to be "open minded" and "tolerant" by being exposed to alternate lifestyle options or curriculum demeaning the true basis of the founding of our nation. Or being tolerant of every other view except the Christian view. (Example being the PA announcement I heard right before we started homeschooling, "Attention teachers - please remember that none of your bulletin board items can say "Easter", they must say Spring.")

Stepping on some toes here no doubt. And, I realize that many people whose kids are in public school are strongly reinforcing a Christian worldview and taking a hand in countering the politically correct agenda.

Whatever the case may be, we have chosen to homeschool our children. We have chosen to tailor our teaching and curriculum to their particular styles of learning, and their interests and talents. We have chosen to teach them with a Christian Worldview which means seeing the world through the lens of the Bible and Jesus.

And it means interacting with all types of people. All ages. All races. All religions, orientations and whatever else people choose to define themselves as. It means loving them and being Christ to all of them. THAT my friends, is socialization.

Cattitudes

I am constantly amazed at how two kids from the same gene pool can be so totally different. Katie and Amanda are like day and night, as are most siblings.

But lately, I have been watching the cats a noticing their different personalities. It is quite interesting, and since we have a plethora of cats, quite entertaining.

First, there is Topaz. He is the full grown cat we got at the shelter, Of course the shelter told us he was a she, so it is a wonder he doesn't have an identity crisis from being called "her' for 2 years!.

Topaz is our big gentle giant. He is HUGE and was once mistaken for a beaver (no kidding). He is the first one at the food bowl, and loves to give you head butts.

Next is Peach. Peach leads a charmed life. When we met the man at the animal shelter, he had just picked up then kitten Peach. Amanda immediately  fell in love with him, and Peach's feet never touched the bottom of a shelter cage.

Peach is quiet, and sweet, and knows he has a good life. Unlike some of the other cats he had never had a yen to bolt out and open door. He knows what he has.

Tiger is the other cat who we rescued from the shelter. She is a stealthy, hunting machine. She can jump unbelievably high, and perches in the highest spot she can find. She likes to carry off socks, and play with pipe cleaners.

Tiger and Peach produced a litter of 5 kittens - 3 of which still live with us. (The other two found new loving homes). The kittens are Fluff, Wiggles and Raccoon.

Fluff is just like his name - I giant fluff ball. He is loving and is always the first in line for a handout of people food. His meow is quite annoying, especially when he is sitting outside of Katie's room crying for her to let him in!

Wiggles is not wiggly, just skittish. If you looked up the term "scaredy cat" in the encyclopedia, her picture would be there. But she has lovely golden eyes, and likes to steal drinking straws from cups.

Lastly is Raccoon. She is a mottled mix of gray and brown, and her face does look raccoonish - although in reverse. She is sneaky. Nothing more to say about her.

The cats are fun and provide great entertainment. I am glad they are all different, just like all of Gods creatures!

I Need an Alice

I need an Alice. Remember Alice from the Brady Bunch? The live in housekeeper who did all the shopping, cooking, cleaning and even went on all the family vacations?

Where does one find an Alice, because I desperately need one. I cannot get on top of getting my house in order, and home school my kids at the same time. Maybe it would be easier if we weren't here all the time, but I like my kids and love home schooling.

So, the answer is to get an Alice. I am not sure where she would live though. We don't have one of those secret spare rooms off our kitchen. I suppose we could put a cot up for her in the garage.

Maybe if I had an Alice I could be that Mom with the smart hair do (preferably a little more modern that Carol Brady's shag), groovy clothes and I could sit and needlepoint and dispense sage motherly advise with a smile of my face.

After all, if I didn't have to stress out over the sad state of my home, what's for dinner, and locating all the lost items that only I can seem to find, I would be able to think clearly and provide intelligent answers to burning questions too!

If I had an Alice, she could work her magic while we were doing school or at co-op or on any of our other assorted and sundry field trips and errands. Shoot, if I had an Alice and she would clean for me and do my laundry, I would gladly grocery shop for her!

I don't think my Alice would want to go on vacation with us though. I mean, when you live with the family you take care of, don't you need to kick back by yourself and let them go to wherever without you? Hmmm, maybe theres a message for me there...

I'd even be glad to give her time off so she could date her own version of Sam the Butcher. I am all for love as long as she doesn't get married and leave before my kids are grown.

So, anyone know where I can get an Alice?

Time Warps

I have been mulling over some oddities in my life - specifically how I always seem to be in some kind of time warp.

When I was growing up, I was pretty much always the youngest. My sister is 11 years older than I am, and so when I was in first grade she was graduating from High School and heading off to college. Most of my cousins were older as well, and the ones who were closer to my age lived away from us.

So, I spent a lot of time with my parents and their friends. Not that it was necessarily a bad thing, just different. Most of their friends kids were older or grown and gone. So, when we went to their house for my parents to play cards, I had to entertain myself or watch tv. I remember falling asleep on many a strange couch.

My sister got married when I was about 10 or 11. My nephews were born when I was 14 & 15, so the weird time warp thing continued. Now one of them has kids who are older than mine. And, he just turned 40 which was terribly surreal.

 I got married at 18. That somehow cast me into the "old" group despite my young age. Something about being married just makes you old, or feel old when everyone else is still partying and dating and you are keeping house.

Since I was married and pursuing my college degree, it took me 9 years to get my 4 year degree. Lest you think I was not too bright, I spent a semester working and a semester in school. It sometimes took me a semester or two to come up with the money for classes and books.

Since I was in school for an extended period, I quickly became the older "kid" in class. Add to that being married and I felt positively ANCIENT. It makes you feel really old when your class mates are going to parties and ball games and you are going to work.

I did graduate and get a job. I attended my 10 year High School reunion that fall, and most people had been working in their chosen careers for 6 years. Even the doctors were practicing.

Life moved on, and I entered a new phase as a newly single woman. Entering the dating game again at 30 is weird, especially when you left the game at 18. At 18 pretty much everyone you know is single. At 30, pretty much everyone you know is married,

And then the time warp kicks in again. The single men all seemed to be quite a bit older, and have kids. Once again I was the young one. Or, I was the old one with men younger than me asking me out. It was all too strange.

I did end up marrying someone younger than me  - though my philosophy was that I could then raise him the way I wanted to. Lest you think I totally robbed the cradle he is 6 years younger than I am. That gap gets less significant the older we get. And with the disparity in the averages ages of death for men and women, we ought to go about the same time.

Then a new era began, and we decided to start a family. At 35 I figured no problem - women have kids at 35 all the time right? Well, it took until I was 40 for our family to begin. Katie was born when I was 40 years old and 6 months.

 God chose to bless us with Amanda when I was 44. Both girls are the light of our lives, and I would not trade anything for them or when they came along. But, this once moved me to the "older" time warp again.

When I really sit and think about it, and realize that I am old enough to be the mother to most of Amanda's friends mothers and a lot of Katie's it depresses me. I mean, how can you talk about tv shows you love when most of the moms weren't born until after I graduated from high school?

But occasionally I run into another "mature" Mom and we immediately bond and commiserate our plight. I don't FEEL old until conversations turn to popular culture and I have no idea who they are talking about!

I am just hoping I don't enter the young time warp again as the youngest person in the nursing home or something! Maybe I just need to start lying about my age...

My sister Charlotte and I

Perspective

We have been back home from our annual pilgrimage to Kentucky for a day now. Yesterday was a wash because it always takes time to recuperate from vacation.

I have always wondered why it takes a few days to get back into the swing of being home, and why I am always tired after vacation. Vacation is supposed to renew and refresh - right?

I have come to see that vacations with just my immediate family - like trips to the beach - do renew my spirit and energy. Vacations which involve visiting other family members - on either side - not so much.

I think this has to do with the stresses of family dynamics. We aren't around the other family members all the time and just don't know how to approach each situation. For me, this means constant worry that the wrong thing will get said or done, and that is just plain emotionally exhausting!

I also see, after being at a family reunion over the weekend, that times change, but people don't so much. Oh, we are all getting older. Some are no longer with us. New ones have come onto the scene. But the family hierarchy still remains.

It doesn't matter how old you are, in some situations you will always be 9 years old.

This trip also just put me into a funk. It seems that I am constantly wrestling with God. Looking back, I guess I have always done that, because I can't remember a time when I wasn't wondering if I was hearing Him correctly.

You would think that by now I would be confident in hearing His voice and knowing the promptings of the Spirit. But I still seem to be in a quagmire of confusion over what I am doing. Does this ever end? Will the path ever be clear?

Sometimes I think my Grandma and Grandpa had it easy in that respect. Their options were limited being that they lived back in a "holler" in Kentucky. Farming and raising your kids was pretty much what you did and there weren't a bunch of influences making you doubt whether or not that was God's path for you or not.

Maybe it is just that I am now 54, and I still worry that I am not doing right by the family by being at home and not working, or that I am somehow diminishing my kid's chances by homeschooling them.

Maybe it is because I see that there is technically only 11 years until "retirement" and we are no closer the financial security than we were 20 years ago.

Maybe it is because I can't see the path out that puts me in such a down mood. Am I missing God's direction? Have I misinterpreted something? Maybe I need and intervention.

I sure could use a burning bush about now...

Just Because You Can Wear it...

And I want women to get in there with the men in humility before God, not primping before a mirror or chasing the latest fashions but doing something beautiful for God and becoming beautiful doing it.  1 Timothy 2:9 (The Message)

I have been observing summer wear lately.

Now, I realize I am "old school", but seriously people, do you ever look in a mirror? Just because you CAN wear something doesn't mean you SHOULD wear it!

It amazes me what people wear out in public. I am still stunned that people actually go out to stores in their pajama bottoms. I mean, even if they have a cool design like, say, Scooby Doo, are they really appropriate for shopping at Target?

And Moms, if you wonder why your daughters dress so immodestly, maybe it is a reflection of the plunging halters in your wardrobe.

In May we took a trip to the beach. One of our expeditions was to the Battleship North Carolina. I just had to keep pushing my jaw back up at the women in mini-skirts, midriff baring tops and flip flops climbing up and down the ladders of the ship.

The one that still sticks in my mind is the woman I saw at the dentist one day. She was there with her young son, and I mean he was a preschooler.  She was a very pretty woman, and certainly in good shape. But I just thought the white short shorts, platform sandals and the t-shirt which said "Foxy" and had a sparkly fox on it was over the top for mom-wear.

Of course you know I am just living in the wrong decade (or century for that matter). But seriously, were has modesty gone? I am just stunned at the amount of cleavage I see these days, even at church!

Really, it is sad when there has to be a note in the church bulletin that we should dress to honor God and to be careful to wear modest clothing. Dressing like you are ready for the water park, or in a really low cut sundress is just not appropriate.

My girls know how I feel about this. Shorts have to be fingertip length. No halter tops. Tanks have to have 1 inch straps - camis DO NOT qualify as outer wear.

It gets harder and to find modest clothing for any of us. Why is that? Are we the only ones who think the "girls" should be covered in public? And if you have to hold down the hem of your skirt in the back when you walk don't you think that is a clue it is too short?

I also find that size doesn't preclude letting it all hand out - literally. I am a spacious woman myself, but I cannot fathom someone my size is comfortable in lo-rise jeans and a skin tight cami! Aren't you self conscious about those rolls? I sure would be!

There are times when I wish we would go back to dressing for events. Do they even sell men's suits anymore - I mean who wears them? Business casual seems to be the rule of the day.

And you can never find nice dresses - for any age. They only have dresses for the girls at Christmas maybe Easter. Oh, and prom time, and those are made to show a lot of decollete.

I just should have been born a couple of decades earlier. June...I miss you!