Thursday, August 4, 2011

I Need an Alice

I need an Alice. Remember Alice from the Brady Bunch? The live in housekeeper who did all the shopping, cooking, cleaning and even went on all the family vacations?

Where does one find an Alice, because I desperately need one. I cannot get on top of getting my house in order, and home school my kids at the same time. Maybe it would be easier if we weren't here all the time, but I like my kids and love home schooling.

So, the answer is to get an Alice. I am not sure where she would live though. We don't have one of those secret spare rooms off our kitchen. I suppose we could put a cot up for her in the garage.

Maybe if I had an Alice I could be that Mom with the smart hair do (preferably a little more modern that Carol Brady's shag), groovy clothes and I could sit and needlepoint and dispense sage motherly advise with a smile of my face.

After all, if I didn't have to stress out over the sad state of my home, what's for dinner, and locating all the lost items that only I can seem to find, I would be able to think clearly and provide intelligent answers to burning questions too!

If I had an Alice, she could work her magic while we were doing school or at co-op or on any of our other assorted and sundry field trips and errands. Shoot, if I had an Alice and she would clean for me and do my laundry, I would gladly grocery shop for her!

I don't think my Alice would want to go on vacation with us though. I mean, when you live with the family you take care of, don't you need to kick back by yourself and let them go to wherever without you? Hmmm, maybe theres a message for me there...

I'd even be glad to give her time off so she could date her own version of Sam the Butcher. I am all for love as long as she doesn't get married and leave before my kids are grown.

So, anyone know where I can get an Alice?

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